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Eulogy for Dad (by Nadia)
My dad had a full and beautiful life that touched more people than I ever knew. So, it is difficult to know where to begin or how to distill who he was into one brief letter.
Dad wore many hats: husband, father, son, gido, brother, friend, and stranger. I don’t know a single person that met my dad that did not have a story about his loving, sweet and silly nature. Whether it be a friend of mine he dragged to the car to feed from the buffet of food in his trunk after church, or a stranger he welcomed into his home, church, or group of friends. My dad never let a person fall through the cracks or feel unseen and took every opportunity to make people laugh.
Dad would be the first to say we were not a perfect family. Sometimes we disagreed. Oftentimes passionately. But deep down, the world felt safe, because we knew that no matter what…dads love ran so deep that no disagreement or perceived disappointment could break that. There was nothing we could do that could make him love us any less. That love was the thread that held our family together. In a world that has often felt cold and uncertain, it was an unshakable truth. And we all knew it. This was a rare gift that I have learned many kids only dream of.
There is an African proverb that says: “When death finds you, make sure it finds you alive.” As my mom has been reminding us recently, dad lived. He really lived. He loved life. He loved God. He loved my mom. He loved us girls. And he loved humanity. The way he showed up to everyday demonstrated that. Life was not always easy for him with 4 women. As dad often joked and has probably mentioned to most people here, we drove him gray and bald early. One thing dad loved to do was to sprinkle life lessons in with a healthy dose of dad joke humor. My mom recently recounted a favorite memory of when dad used to come into the bathroom as my sisters and I were getting ready for church, nostrils flared and with a sly grin on his face, saying: “I hope you ladies put as much into your soul as on your faces and in your hair.” Dad wasn’t only there for the big moments, he was present for the mundane. He was there for every meal, all the homework, every soccer game, and every moment in between. And he never once hung up the phone without saying “I love you.”
Some of my most formative memories were of dad sitting me down as a very young girl and gently explaining the heart of big topics like grief, injustice, and loss. Oftentimes it was as we sat together after something tragic happened in the world or when he lost a loved one. Dads gentle heart broke for the world, often. As I continue to encounter life and all its layers, I realize that these were some of the conversations that changed the trajectory of who I have become over many decades. They indelibly etched dad’s heart onto mine, a gift I will treasure forever.
Dad, you taught me to be strong and softhearted at the same time. Your love carried me more than I ever told you. I will never be able to fully understand the strength it took for you to carry our family, often in uncertain and precarious circumstances over the decades; but I will forever be in awe of you. When things fell apart, you were a steady anchor. You showed up in all your love, strength, and faith, ready to take on the world for your family. I wish I told you more just how much that has meant and how much I admired you.
I’m going to miss your warmhearted smile, your playful nature, your laugh, your compassionate heart…and the way you always pulled me close when it really mattered. I miss the world with you in it. I will love and miss you always.
As E.E. Cummings wrote:
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart, i carry it in my heart.
May your memory and spirit live on within us and may you rest in everlasting peace, dad.
Dads eulogy from Teresa and Maria
Eulogy for my our father –
It is difficult, at best, to stand before you and attempt to honor our father in words. It is never an easy task to capture someone in a speech, as words often fall short of capturing someone’s true essence. In Galatians 5:22, it reads “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.”
Our father was a man that embodied the fruits of the Spirit. Of all these fruits, he most embodied the fruit of joy. The joy of the Lord is the gladness of heart that comes from knowing God, abiding in Christ, and being filled with the Spirit. In this difficult time, we feel that he would want us to choose to rejoice in who God is and in what He has done for us, despite these seemingly difficult circumstances. Doing so changes our focus toward God rather than on us, which is what he always taught us to do.
One of our father’s heroes was St Pope Kyrillos, who said “rest assured and do not think too much about any matter. Leave it to God, who is in control” which is also something he always emphasized to us in every aspect of our lives.
Though these past few weeks, we have felt distant without his closeness and warm embrace, we have felt closer to him through all of the stories we have heard from each and every one of you. Everyone knows of dad as a jokester, always making people laugh with his lighthearted dad jokes. However, this past week has shown us so much more of how he has deeply touched the lives of others. The stories of kindness, empathy, peacemaking, inclusivity, faithfulness and generosity have warmed the bitter cold sadness in our hearts, and we feel such peace in hearing them. Maya Angelou once said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Our father without question, made people feel loved, included, welcomed, important in all his acts of kindness. We pray that this legacy will continue in his children and his grandchildren.
On numerous occasions over the past few days we have dreamt of we would say if we had just one more day with him. So here it is:
“Dearest Daddy…you did well. We are SO proud of you.
You loved us with all your heart. You raised three strong women who had the chance to witness unconditional love. You protected all of us. You brought laughter and joy to everyone you met. You taught us empathy, kindness, and compassion even in the face of adversity. You brought joy to your grandchildren. You praised the Lord fervently and without ceasing. You taught us the ways to salvation. Thank you, dad, for everything. Your presence in our lives was a gift, and we will cherish our memories always. Even though you are gone, we know your love for us will live on in our hearts forever. Please rest in peace. We will see you again one day. We love you, Dad.”
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